Funny Scrapbooking Quotes

Hi, just surfing the internet and find some funny quotes, here are some of it:

"You need Time, We Need Money"

"Ride For Free, Pay When Go Down"

"Don't Marry If The Seal Is Broken"

"2 Wife is enough, man or women is the same" ---> got dang!! What the meaning of this?!!

"If you can read, it means you too close"

” Wedding Invitation. I’m getting married next month. There’ll be a small party. Would you like to come? lease don’t bring any gifts. Just bring a man to marry me…”

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
--- by: Ellen DeGeneres ---

"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman;"
--- by: George Burns ---

"My black can make you bright. My black not always black. White without black would never be bright"

"When i'm sorrow, you near me. When i cry, you with me. When i'm sad, you beside me. Now i realize, you are truly....BAD LUCK!"

" Honey...
This morning i can't eat because missing you
Then in the afternoon, i also can't eat because thinking of you
At night, i can't sleep because i'm starving"

" I came to your bed, i stare your face. i kiss your cheeks, i kiss you forehead and i whisper in your ear, MAY YOU REST IN PEACE"

" I just got a call from the zoo. They said they lost a monkey. Relax, i don't told them you are here"

"Congratulation, you're chosen in white skin, smooth and mature category and have the right to go to the Healthy Cow Grand Final."

" I know you are charming
Cute
Funny
Sweet
Kind
and Obedient

Just there is a problem

I'm allergic to animal"

"1. Message received
2. Cute person send it
3. Stupid person read it
4. Stupid person STILL read it
5. Stupid person start to pissing off
6. Stupid person send it to another stupid person"

" Sometimes im asking my selft. Why i like you? Why i care for you? And always missing you.
Then my heart says, maybe because i'm a pet lover!"

"One day there is a check up
1. Who is pretty please to the left
2. Who is handsome please to the right
3. Who is ugly please to the center

HEY YOU WHO READ THIS, DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE FU***NG DEAF!!"

"GOD made human in pairs
There is a man, there is a girl
There is ugly, and there is cute

The cute one write this

The ugly one read it

Accept it..."

" If your life in darkness, then pray
If after pray you still in the dark

Then pay the electric bill!"

"I stared at you.
My heart in question, is it true?
I hold my breath, you look down
Then i ask, "do you just fart?"

"If someone say, your crazy, just be patient
If someone say, your ugly, be cool
If someone say, your smart, SLAP HIM IN THE FACE. HE'S LYING!"

"Man fall in love is natural. Fish swimming is natural. Cow eat grass is natural. Monkey can read this....still read??? MARVELOUS"

" I want u 2 know dat our frenship means alot 2 me.
U cry I cry.
U laff I laff.
U jump out of d window

I look dwn & then ...... I laff again! :)"

" Birds love u, Monkeys love u, Hippos love u, Chimpanzee love u, Tortoise love u, Giraffe love u.
Please return to the zoo, they all miss u, don't escape again!!! "

"When did Noah build the boat? - Before the rain" ~ by Robert Redford

"Thank God if you have someone to love, pray to God if you don’t."

"You have two choices in life: One, ife singel and miserable all of your life. Or, get married an you wish you're dead"

"Woman's prayer: God give me wisdom to understand a man, to love and forgive and patience to his behaviour. 'Coz God, if i'm asking streght.. i can beat him to death"